| Current location: | dads comp |
| Current mood: |  relieved |
| Current music: | ambient noises |
I am NOT moving
ok so, sooo freaking mucha has happened in the last month its ridiculous! I will make this brief and without all the details and explanations cause that would last for a good number of pages.
so i was supposed to start my new job up in denver on monday (working in a school with 3-6 year olds as a lead teacher, i have not finished my training though and i m still just 19), but i had meetings and work days to go to this week and stuff. and saturday was a work day where we cleaned up the classroom and some parents were there etc. . . aaand i panicked, i was there and stuff but i was having panick attacks and stuff and not at my best so i said i was feeling sick and went home a bit early (i had panick attacks before, but now they all come back and its not good, everytime there is changes and stuff, but i m dealing with it and stuff, and now i know how to handle them and eventually they ll just fully go away but thats gonna take time, normal)
so i didnt give a very good impression and stuff and i guess some parents were concerned (which i totally understand, but i was just not myself and there wasnt much i could do) so i want back on monday for meetings and the head of school and she said that i was going to be an assistant instead so that i wouldnt panick and stuff (she was great very nice and professional but firm as well) and so that my salary would be cut down....
so yea now i cant go because with the salary planned at the beginning it was the bare minimum for me to move etc, and with less i cant do it, but i think thats probably better, now i can calm down finish my training and pull myself together get my panick attacks resolved and all that so in a way i think its probably for the better but man that school was just so perfect, with an awesome community, staff, environment, just awesome! maybe i ll apply again in a few years but gosh i feel bad and lieka bit of an idiot!
so now i dont know what i m going to do, i m gonna have to find a new job and stuff but since school has already started and stuff it gonna be hard, so maybe i ll find a misc job (barnes and nobles would be awesome) and look for a school in january for when i have to do my teaching training.
all in all i think that growing up is just a big pain and not so fun!
otherwise i saw bourne ultimatum, i was so tired after the movie though cause the camera was moving constantly but i thought i was pretty good but more of a transition movie than anything but the action is always fun, the story line wasnt as complex and interesting as the other two though.
didnt get much art done, and im actully feeling very unartistic and untalented but whatever
the family is still here its going great, a madhouse, but good! they leave in a week and then my parents the little sister and i are all going to wyoming for a week of complete isolation and vacation! and i m actually looking forward to it, wasnt going to be able to go until today really.
the summer feels like it has just gone by really fast, i start school/training again saturday that should be interesting i think though im not really looking forward to it but i know it will be good. doesnt feel like i have had a break really, since january actually. its been hot in the day and stormy in the evening its fun! didnt go places much or do a lot of stuff. i did watch all the die hards which i love! so much fun, i had never seen one before so it was pretty neat.
i want to go see stardust so baaaad, i loved the book so so much, read it twice in a row it was awesome, and i heard that the movie was fantastic so i hope i ll see it soon!
OO Deathly Hallows was fantastic, very dark though, and i read it way too fast, so i ll have to reread it sometime, but yea man what a serie! i dont have much to write about it cause everyone else did it for me really! lol!
so yea not much else to write, well probably but i cant think of anything right now, but to have "quit" that job i do feel a LOT of stress lifted off and thats just awesome
sorry this was long but heck no one reads it anyways!
adios talking of dios he is always good and i really need to trust in Him more and stuff so yea.
laterz
oooooo and i got my capoeira nick name! its SAPO! means frog, hahah lol i love it!
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shpout) wrote,
